Does your therapist respect you outside your session?

A few days ago, I was speaking to a therapist from my team at Moon Minds about scheduling a session with one of her clients. This happened during the conversation.

The client wasn’t there. They would never know. This was a private chat between two professionals. But in that moment, something real happened.

I felt a little embarrassed; I knew their pronouns, too. I just forgot. But mostly, I felt proud.

Because this wasn’t about correcting me for the sake of it. It wasn’t about being politically correct or ticking off a checklist. It was just about doing the right thing, even when no one was watching.

People talk a lot about safe spaces. About inclusivity. About being “affirmative.” But what does that really mean? It’s not just big statements or loud activism. It’s the quiet moments, the ones that happen when there’s no audience. When the only reason to do the right thing is because it matters.

And it also says something about our team. I’m the founder of Moon Minds. But that doesn’t mean I get a free pass. It doesn’t mean my team hesitates before correcting me. If anything, it means they trust me enough to correct me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your identity doesn’t switch off when you leave a room. It’s not something that exists only in front of people. A good therapist doesn’t just hold space for you when you’re in session. They remember you when you’re not. They carry your truth.

Pronouns should be respected without hesitation.

For many queer folks in India, the experience of being dismissed starts early. If you try to go by a different name or express your pronouns, it’s often met with “Humare yahan aisa nahi hota.” There’s no room to explain why it matters. The conversation ends before it even begins.

That’s why, in therapy, when a therapist doesn’t flinch at your pronouns—when they don’t make you justify your identity—it feels radical. It’s not just a moment of kindness. It’s a moment of recognition.

This is an often overlooked part of affirmative care. In psychology, we call these “microaffirmations.” Small, intentional gestures that affirm a person’s identity. A name remembered. A pronoun is respected without hesitation. A quiet check-in after an emotionally heavy session.

Over time, they create a foundation of safety and trust. And for queer clients, especially those coming from environments where their identity is constantly questioned, this kind of care is foundational.

Because in a world that often tells queer people to shrink, these small affirmations say: you don’t have to hide here.

And over time, microaffirmations add up. They create a sense of safety, not just in the session, but in the relationship. And when you feel safe, real work can begin. Not the kind where you’re busy defending who you are, but the kind where you can explore, feel, unlearn, and heal.

In the end, therapy isn’t always giant breakthroughs or epiphanies. It’s about letting you know that you matter exactly where you are, and as you are.

If you’re queer, or if any part of your identity doesn’t fit into the mainstream script:

Be proud of who you are. Even if the world around you tries to minimise them. Don’t let anyone tell you that your pronouns, your name, or how you show up in the world is “too much” or “just a phase.” The details matter because you matter. You deserve to be seen and respected without explanation.

If you’re an ally, or trying to be one:

Take a moment to reflect. Is there someone in your life whose identity you haven’t fully acknowledged? Maybe you’ve used the wrong pronouns in the past. Or assumed things about their relationships, their body, and their experiences. That’s okay—growth starts with awareness. Reach out, learn, and make the shift. Small changes in how you speak or show up can have a lasting impact.

Whether you’re reclaiming space or making space, the little things add up.

Queer Affirmative Counselling Practice
By MHI (Mariwala Health Initiative)
Online Resource

A foundational guide for therapists and allies in the Indian context. Breaks down concepts in a simple, grounded way. While it’s written with therapists in mind, anyone who wants to be a better ally will gain a lot from it.

The Pronoun Lowdown
By Nezo Zisn
Book

An accessible, funny and deeply informative book on pronouns, gender identity and the nuances of inclusive language. Whether you’re just starting your journey or want to deepen your understanding, this book does a great job of making things click without sounding preachy.

A prompt to think about – 

Have you ever had a moment recently where you boldly made space for yourself?

We’d love to hear about it or just how you’re feeling today. Write to us at team@moonminds.in with your thoughts!